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the matthew show: Listen to Music

Everybody Drinks and Drives in Heaven

(the matthew show)
October 9, 2014
written by Leslie Stevens and John Elliott
commissioned as part of the Legacy Leadership Academy tuition fundraiser, summer 2014
Everybody drinks and drives in heaven
They don't care if you drink and drive in heaven
Mother Mary, Jesus too, Washington and Martin Lou
Everybody drinks and drives in heaven

Most other laws apply up in heaven
But you can drink and drive up in heaven
Most other laws, but not this one
You have to admit that it's kinda fun
To get a chance to drink and drive in heaven

And when it rains, it rains champagne in heaven
Jack and Coke's made with cocaine in heaven
When you crash your car and meet your death
The angels all have whiskey breath
When they bring you up to drink and drive in heaven

They don't have no hangovers in heaven
No headaches, no hangovers in heaven
Get hammered and go to bed
Wake up feeling like a saint instead
Take a shot and go to work in heaven

Yes it's true, you have to work in heaven
Yes you're drunk, but you'll be working up in heaven
Someone's got to build the roads
Someone's got to man the tolls
Mother Mary, Jesus too, Washington and Martin Lou
Drinking and driving and working up in heaven

But they don't have no DUIs in heaven
They don't have no state lines up in heaven
No condoms, no birth control, 'cause everybody's dead you know
Driving like a bat out of hell up in heaven

Everybody gets fucked up
Everybody gets a sippy cup
That always runneth over up in heaven

Amen